Positive Psychology in Divorce – Part 1: Having a Growth Mindset

As we explained in an earlier post, Positive Psychology is the scientific study of well-being, happiness, and what helps people to thrive as opposed to just survive. Because I’m a student of Positive Psychology and a soon-to-be certified coach in this area, I want to delve deeper through this 4-part series into some of the tenets of Positive Psychology that can help transform your divorce from an extremely difficult time in your life into an opportunity for growth and renewal.

We’re going to start with the concept of having a growth mindset because that is one of the foundational principles of Positive Psychology and becomes a pathway to not just survive but thrive.

A growth mindset is the belief that your abilities and intelligence will be developed through dedication and hard work. It contrasts with a fixed mindset, where you believe that your talents and capabilities are static and unchangeable. During a divorce, adopting a growth mindset means that you see the challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than insurmountable obstacles.

When you adopt a growth mindset, you start by asking yourself empowering questions. Instead of focusing on past grievances and failures, you ask, “What can I do to improve my situation?” or “How can I grow from this experience?” This is an important shift in perspective. It is about believing in your ability to adapt, learn, and emerge stronger.

Financial matters and parenting are two key areas where a growth mindset can be particularly helpful during a divorce.

In many marriages, financial responsibilities are often divided, with one spouse handling most of the financial planning and the other having limited involvement. If you find yourself suddenly needing to understand investments, budgets, or taxes, a growth mindset will be your ally. It’s never too late to learn. Engaging with financial professionals and gaining the knowledge you need can be incredibly empowering. Instead of seeing financial matters as a daunting and fixed burden, view them as a skill you can develop, which will only benefit you in the long run.

Parenting presents another significant challenge. In many cases, one parent may have been the primary caregiver, managing the day-to-day activities and emotional needs of the children. The other parent, while equally loving and responsible, might not have been as involved due to work commitments or other reasons. During a divorce, it’s important to believe in the ability of both parents to grow into their roles. Even if one parent was less involved before, it doesn’t mean they can’t become more engaged now. This belief in mutual growth not only alleviates resentment but also fosters a healthier environment for the children, who need strong relationships with both of their parents.

Visualization and being forward-thinking are also key components of a growth mindset. Envision where you want to be post-divorce. Whether it’s achieving financial independence, having a harmonious co-parenting relationship, or finding personal happiness, focusing on these goals will drive you to acquire the knowledge and skills needed to reach them. Your past does not dictate your future; a growth mindset opens up endless possibilities for what you can achieve.

At Vacca Family Law Group, we are dedicated to helping you not just survive your divorce but grow stronger through it. Our Collaborative Divorce and Mediation approaches help you be at your best and brings together financial experts, mental health professionals, and experienced attorneys to support you every step of the way.

If you are going through a divorce, Vacca Family Law Group’s team of Collaborative Divorce Attorneys and Mediators can offer personalized guidance and help you make informed decisions during this challenging time. Call us at (646) 798-4603 or contact us online to schedule your free introductory call.

Vacca Family Law Group is located at One Grand Central Place, 60 E. 42nd St., Suite 700, New York, NY 10165.