How to Prepare for Divorce: 6 Tips for a Smoother Process

By Andrea Vacca

How you prepare for your divorce can help to make things go more smoothly. Taking some simple steps now can give you a clearer plan and make the divorce process less stressful. Here are six key steps to think about before you begin the divorce process.

1) Identify Key Areas of Agreement and Disagreement

The first step is to take a moment and think about where you and your spouse stand. Are there areas where you both agree? Maybe you want to divide property fairly, or you have similar ideas about custody arrangements for the kids. If you are on the same page with key issues, it can make the entire process easier. On the other hand, knowing where you disagree will give you a heads-up about where negotiations will need more time and effort.

 The top issues that divorcing couples will work to resolve include:

2) Choose the Right Divorce Process

Before you start the actual divorce process, think about how you want your divorce to unfold. Do you want to avoid unnecessary conflict? If so, options like Collaborative Divorce or Mediation may be right for you. These methods allow you to work with your spouse in a more amicable environment, focusing on finding solutions that work for both of you. If the situation is extremely contentious, you may need to consider litigation. Talking to an attorney who has experience in Collaborative Divorce and Mediation as well as litigation is important at this point so that you can consider which process will best fit your situation.

3) Discuss Possible Parenting Arrangements

If you have children, creating a plan for their care and custody will likely be one of the most important decisions on your list. Before diving into the formal process, it will be helpful to have an idea of what arrangements might work best. Some of the things to consider are:

  • Will it be best for your children to spend equal or close to equal time with each parent, or would it be best if one of you were the primary caregiver?
  • How will you communicate your separation and divorce to the children?
  • How would you like to work together when a child is ill?
  • What about childcare decisions?
  • How will the holidays be divided?
  • How will you make decisions about education and school selection?
  • How will your children get to and from each parent’s home and activities?
  • Is one parent considering relocating to a new area?
  • What are the expectations regarding religion?
  • What are the rules for introducing children to new significant others?

Starting these discussions early, before formal negotiations, will give you both the opportunity to explore options and consider what is best for the family. It is a helpful way to think things through and share ideas without the pressure of final decisions.

Creating a simple draft or schedule can provide a strong foundation when it is time to make formal agreements. It is also a good idea to decide how and when these arrangements will be revisited as your children grow and their needs change.

4) Gather Essential Divorce Documents

The paperwork involved in a divorce is a document-intensive process, gathering the right documents will make things go much smoother. Here is a list of documents we suggest you start collecting:

  • Marriage license
  • Prenuptial and postnuptial agreements
  • Tax returns and other tax documents
  • W2 forms
  • Pay statements and employment records
  • Bank account information
  • Mortgage statements
  • Documentation of various debts (credit card, medical, car loan, student loan, etc.)
  • Retirement account and pension plan statements
  • Life insurance policies
  • Estate planning documents (wills, trusts, powers of attorney)
  • Deeds
  • Business ownership records (if applicable)
  • Vehicle titles
  • Medical insurance information
  • Inventory of security deposit boxes

Organizing these documents from the beginning will make it easier to divide assets and get a clear picture of your finances. It also helps keep the divorce process moving more smoothly and efficiently.

5) Take Inventory of Assets and Liabilities

Gather financial documents to get a full picture of your finances, both separately and jointly. It is important to have a written list of what you own and what you owe. This will help you understand how things might be divided and avoid unnecessary disagreements later.

Once you have this list, you can spot which assets and debts might be harder to agree on and which ones could be handled more simply.

Examples of assets include:

  • The family home
  • Investment properties
  • Businesses
  • Stocks, retirement accounts, and other investments
  • Cars, boats, and other vehicles
  • Bank accounts
  • Digital assets
  • Jewelry, art, and collectibles
  • Household items

Examples of debts include:

  • Mortgages
  • Personal loans
  • Car loans
  • Lines of credit
  • Credit card balances

6) Start Preparing for Life After Divorce

As you prepare for divorce, it is helpful to think about how you will adjust to life on your own. Taking practical steps now can make the transition smoother and reduce potential challenges later.

Separating your life from your spouse’s can feel like a big change, especially if you’ve been together for many years. Planning ahead can help you move forward with fewer complications and avoid unnecessary conflicts.

Here are a few steps to consider:

  • Update your passwords: Change passwords for email, social media, and any shared accounts to protect your privacy.
  • Review your career options: If your spouse was the primary earner, you might explore additional education or training to boost your future income.
  • Open your own bank account: If you have shared accounts, this is a good time to set up accounts in your name. Do not divert marital assets to this account without legal guidance.
  • Establish your credit: If you don’t already have a credit history in your name, consider opening a credit card. This can help with renting or purchasing a home in the future.

By taking these steps early, you can protect your financial interests and set the foundation for a fresh start.

Strategic Divorce Planning Starts Here

Divorce is more than a legal process—it’s a financial and emotional transition that demands careful strategy to achieve the outcome you deserve. The decisions you make today could determine whether your divorce will become a chaotic, costly battle or a smooth, well-planned resolution. At Vacca Family Law Group, we help accomplished professionals like you protect your assets, minimize conflict, and craft solutions that preserve both your wealth and your family’s future. Our commitment to keeping your divorce out of court ensures discretion, efficiency, and a focus on long-term success.

Your future deserves to be in the hands of experienced professionals who understand the complexities of high-net-worth divorce. Contact us today for a free introductory call and take the first step toward a positive resolution.

Vacca Family Law Group is located at One Grand Central Place, 60 E. 42nd St., Suite 700, New York, NY 10165.

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Andrea Vacca is a Collaborative Divorce Attorney and Mediator with more than 30 years of legal experience. A former President of the New York Association of Collaborative Professionals, she is a member of numerous family law and dispute resolution organizations, including the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, the NYS Council on Divorce Mediation, and the Family and Divorce Mediation Council of Greater New York. Andrea is also the host of A Better Divorce Podcast, which offers expert insights to help individuals approach divorce with less conflict and more intention.

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