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Future-Proof Your Divorce Agreement: “What If” Scenarios to Plan for Now
Protect yourself from costly post-divorce conflicts by planning for life’s inevitable changes.
When you’re contemplating divorce, it’s natural to start asking questions about how life will look afterward—especially when it comes to parenting, money, housing, and other major life decisions. And once negotiations begin, the questions only grow. This guide walks you through common “what if” scenarios and how to address them in your divorce agreement to help avoid future disputes.
Why Future-Proofing Your Divorce Matters
Discussing “what ifs” during divorce can feel overwhelming. But in our experience, when these questions are ignored, the risk of post-divorce conflict grows.
The reality is stark: Courts have limited ability to adjust agreements once they’re finalized. That’s why it’s critical to include flexible terms. By planning for change, you maintain control over future decisions—and reduce the chances of returning to court.
Spousal Support (Alimony): What If Incomes or Relationships Change?
What if my ex gets remarried or starts living with a new partner?
In New York, spousal support (alimony) ends automatically upon remarriage. Cohabitation is different. You can define what it means (e.g., spending a certain number of nights together) and decide whether support ends, is reduced, or continues. If someone moves in with a new partner, the court will not act unless your agreement defines what cohabitation means and what should happen in the event you start living with your new partner.
What If I’m Receiving Spousal Support and My Income Drops or My Ex’s Income Increases?
Courts are reluctant to revisit support orders. Instead, build in terms for how increases, decreases, or unstable income (such as in high-risk industries) will be handled over time.
What if the paying spouse loses their job involuntarily or becomes disabled?
A customized divorce agreement can clarify whether support pauses or is reduced during this time, and how and when payments resume or are reassessed.
Child Support and Educational Planning: What If Life Doesn’t Go as Expected?
What if incomes change, the cost-of-living increases, a child goes to college, or a child emancipates?
Basic child support is designed to help cover food, shelter, and day-to-day costs. It is usually paid by the higher-earning parent to the lower-earning parent. Child support agreements often include specific rules about what will happen when the parents’ incomes change, including how support will be calculated and implemented.
What if a child chooses a gap year, trade school, or military service instead of traditional college?
Consider how educational savings will be handled and whether support continues during alternative educational paths or training programs that prepare the child for future employment.
What if expenses change, or children need new medical or educational services?
Child-related “add-on” expenses such as education, medical care, insurance, childcare, and extracurricular activities can be shared based on income. Your agreement should define how add-on expenses will be shared and when mutual consent will be required for major costs.
What if a child develops special needs requiring expensive therapeutic services or adaptive equipment?
Your agreement should address how extraordinary medical or educational expenses will be handled, including whether there are spending limits that require mutual consent and how quickly these new expenses must be shared between parents.
Parenting Plans: What If Safety or Relocation Becomes an Issue?
What if a parent moves, wants to travel to an unsafe country, or has past substance use issues?
Parenting plans can require advance notice or mutual consent for moves or travel to certain countries, especially where safety is a concern.
What if a parent wants to relocate with the children to a different state or country for a job opportunity or remarriage?
Include provisions for how relocation requests will be handled, including notice requirements, factors to be considered, and whether mediation or court approval is required before any move can occur.
What if we cannot agree on major parenting decisions?
Daily decisions are typically made by the parent with the child. For bigger issues—health care, religion, social media—your agreement should outline a process, such as working with a parenting coordinator or neutral expert.
What if parents disagree about religious upbringing, social media use, or dating rules for teenagers?
Consider including decision-making frameworks for these common areas of conflict, such as alternating final decision-making authority by category or requiring consultation with the child’s therapist or counselor for guidance.
Property Division & Real Estate: What If the Market Shifts?
What if the person doing a buyout cannot get a mortgage?
Real estate is often one of the most valuable assets to divide. If a buyout is planned for your home, the agreement can set a timeline for refinancing and a backup plan if it does not happen.
What if property values drop significantly between the time of divorce and the planned buyout?
Include provisions for how to handle substantial changes in property value, such as requiring a new appraisal or adjusting the buyout amount based on current market conditions.
What if we disagree on the listing or sale of the home?
Your agreement can name a real estate agent, set pricing terms, or include a process for resolving disagreements.
What if the housing market crashes or becomes extremely volatile during the sale period?
Consider including terms about minimum acceptable prices, maximum time on market before price reductions, or conditions under which the sale might be postponed until market conditions improve.
What if we plan to co-own the home after divorce?
If the home remains jointly owned for investment or continued use, the agreement should outline who pays for what, how decisions are made, and how the arrangement can be ended if one person changes their mind.
What if one co-owner wants to make major renovations or improvements that the other opposes?
Establish clear guidelines for property improvements, including spending limits that require mutual consent, how improvement costs and increased value will be shared, and dispute resolution for maintenance decisions.
Retirement, Taxes, & Insurance: What If Delays or Legal Changes Occur?
What if there is a delay in dividing retirement assets?
If retirement assets are to be equalized but the paperwork is delayed, your agreement can include protections such as freezing sub-accounts or barring withdrawals until the division is complete.
What if the retirement account performs exceptionally well or poorly during the division delay period?
Address whether gains or losses during the delay period will be shared proportionally or belong entirely to the original account holder, and establish deadlines to prevent indefinite delays.
What if one of us wants to claim a child on taxes and the other cannot benefit?
Claiming a child as a dependent can have financial advantages. Your agreement should clarify who claims which child, under what circumstances, and what happens if the intended parent cannot benefit.
What if tax laws change significantly, affecting the value of claiming dependents?
Include flexibility to reassess the tax benefit allocation if major tax law changes make the current arrangement unfavorable to one party, ensuring both parents can adapt to new tax realities.
What if someone fails to maintain required life insurance?
If life insurance is included to protect support or other obligations, your agreement can include proof requirements and terms for what happens if coverage lapses. This prevents future surprises and protects both parties.
What if the insured person develops health issues that make life insurance prohibitively expensive or impossible to obtain?
Consider including alternative security arrangements, such as setting aside funds in escrow or adjusting support amounts to account for the loss of insurance protection.
The Bottom Line: Creating an Agreement That Works Long After Divorce
You can’t predict every change that may come after your divorce, but you can talk through many of life’s “what ifs” right now. A thoughtful agreement reduces conflict, supports your financial future, and reflects your real-life needs as they evolve.
Remember: A few extra hours of planning today can help you save thousands in legal fees and emotional stress later.
Ready to Think Smarter About Divorce?
You’ve already started asking the right questions. Now it’s time to have the right conversations.
You’re looking for a divorce process that plans for the future, not just the paperwork. Let’s explore what that could look like for you.
Start a conversation, whenever you’re ready.
Vacca Family Law Group is located at One Grand Central Place, 60 E. 42nd St., Suite 700, New York, NY 10165.
Andrea Vacca is a Collaborative Divorce Attorney and Mediator with more than 30 years of legal experience. A former President of the New York Association of Collaborative Professionals, she is a member of numerous family law and dispute resolution organizations, including the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, the NYS Council on Divorce Mediation, and the Family and Divorce Mediation Council of Greater New York. Andrea is also the host of A Better Divorce Podcast, which offers expert insights to help individuals approach divorce with less conflict and more intention.