Skip to Content Skip to content
5 Tips for the Holidays After Divorce or Separation
Deciding how to share parenting time around Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year’s often involve many conversations and could be challenging to a couple that is divorcing. What you may not have considered during the divorce is how you will feel afterwards, when the schedule is in place, your children are with the other parent, and you are left on your own. Many emotions can come up around this time, so It’s important to give the holidays thoughtful planning and self-care so you can get through this season with resilience and grace. Here are 5 tips for how to handle the holidays to make them more manageable and enjoyable despite the changes in your life.
1. Acknowledge Your Emotions
The first step is to acknowledge and accept your emotions. No matter the holiday, it is normal to feel sad and lonely during this time. But you may even feel some relief. It can feel wonderful, for example, to realize that you no longer have to sit through another holiday with your in-laws pretending that everything is fine. Recognize these feelings and allow yourself to experience those emotions. It’s important to give yourself permission to feel however you need to feel, and to seek support if you are struggling. The holidays are emotionally charged, and it’s okay to feel conflicted.
2. Create Some New Holiday Traditions
Embracing some new holiday traditions can help make holidays like Christmas or Hanukkah feel special. Whether it’s starting a new ritual with friends, participating in community events, or creating unique ways to celebrate, new traditions offer a fresh perspective and can help you build positive associations with the season. This might also mean modifying old traditions to better fit your current situation. For example, if this year’s parenting schedule means that your children will not be with you on Christmas morning, consider new traditions that allow the children to open gifts in your home on Christmas Eve. Flexibility and a willingness to adapt can make a big difference.
3. Focus on Self-Care
If the holidays feel overwhelming, take some time to prioritize self-care. Indulge in a quiet evening on Christmas Eve or take a peaceful walk on New Year’s Day. Engage in activities that relax and rejuvenate you, spend time with supportive friends and family, or simply allow yourself some quiet time to help you manage the stress that often comes with this season.
4. Support Your Children’s Happiness
Your children’s well-being should be a top priority throughout the Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year’s celebrations. Support their involvement in holiday traditions with your co-parent and his or her extended family. Help them to pick out gifts or cards for their other parent. Be proactive in discussing any changes with them and reassure them that they are loved and cared for. Your support will help them feel more secure and happy during these special times, making the holidays brighter for everyone
5. Stay Positive and Engaged
Maintaining a positive outlook can make a significant difference, no matter which holiday you’re celebrating. Engage in activities that bring you joy and connect with others who uplift you. Whether it’s attending holiday events, participating in hobbies, or simply enjoying festive activities, staying engaged can help shift your focus from what has changed to what you can still enjoy.
Contact Vacca Family Law Group
The holidays may feel different after divorce, but with some thoughtful planning, self-compassion, and an open mind, you can still find joy and create meaningful memories during this time. While it’s natural to feel a range of emotions, remember that by acknowledging them, embracing new traditions, and focusing on self-care, you’re taking positive steps toward a fulfilling future.
Most importantly, you don’t have to do this alone. Our team of Collaborative Divorce Attorneys and Mediators at Vacca Family Law Group is here to offer support and guidance tailored to your unique situation. Call us today at (646) 502-8591 or contact us online to schedule your free introductory call.
Vacca Family Law Group is located at One Grand Central Place, 60 E. 42nd St., Suite 700, New York, NY 10165
Andrea Vacca is a Collaborative Divorce Attorney and Mediator with more than 30 years of legal experience. A former President of the New York Association of Collaborative Professionals, she is a member of numerous family law and dispute resolution organizations, including the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, the NYS Council on Divorce Mediation, and the Family and Divorce Mediation Council of Greater New York. Andrea is also the host of A Better Divorce Podcast, which offers expert insights to help individuals approach divorce with less conflict and more intention.